Give It All Up
by Tiki Rocket
Summary: 13 and under wouldn't understand, I think.Ch.1: Davis Soliloquy about his feelings towards Kari. ch.2: Telling Kari about his feelings.
1. Masochistic Love

"Oh Davis, stop being such a moron and pay attention!"  
  
I could hear Kari snapping at me again. She was helping me with my math homework (or trying to;   
  
her beautiful eyes were far more captivating than any math equation). We'd been working on it for over an  
  
hour, and we'd finally finished the first problem.   
  
I knew I didn't really need the help. I'm a much better student than I let on, but I'd do ANYTHING  
  
to get near her, even if it meant borderline failing grades. She's my cruel angel, the untouchable face   
  
in my dreams. I would turn the world upside down if it meant I could be with her.  
  
But she's got it bad for TK, and TK has it just as bad for her. If it weren't for this, TK and I  
  
might actually be really good friends. I've heard stories of girls tearing friendships apart. I've heard  
  
even more about girls preventing friendships from starting. I'm... almost trying to be friends with TK...  
  
Jealousy is a powerful thing.  
  
"So, if I do this..." I said, scribbling something down. Playing dumb like this was difficult; I  
  
had to pretend I didn't get the problem, even if I could do faster than Kari. I showed her the paper.   
  
She looked up and smiled at me.  
  
"Yeah! Now you're getting it. Now, next problem."  
  
Oh Gods, that smile... I don't know how, but I kept my eyes from glazing over and my mouth from  
  
grinning stupidly.  
  
Later that evening, after Kari had left, I was laying on my bed, staring at the ceiling, trying  
  
to fall asleep. It wasn't working. All I could think about was her, and that one smile she'd flashed at  
  
me.   
  
*She's such a tease,* something in me thought bitterly. I shut it up quickly. *At least she's saying   
  
something to me. It's better than silent treatment.* I sighed in frustration, got up, and opened a window.   
  
I leaned out, inhaled the slightly damp mid-spring air. Somewhere down below me, I could hear some older   
  
kids- sweethearts- talking in low tones, and occaisionally a feminine giggle laced with seduction. I wished,  
  
and not for the first time, that Kari would laugh like that for me.  
  
I pulled myself back into my room, walked out to the kitchen, and got a glass of milk. *Milk helps   
  
you sleep, doesn't it? I hope it's not a requirement for it to be warm...* The thought echoed through my   
  
mind. It seemed totally irrelevant.  
  
I brought the milk with me back into my room, and turned on the radio. Every song, somehow, reminded  
  
me of her without fail. Just one line or a whole song, everything bore something that was Kari. I drained the  
  
glass of milk and flopped down on my bed again. I closed my eyes, listening to the music, and imagined Kari and   
  
I were together, inseperable forever. She would smile more of those treasured smiles at me, tell me secrets, maybe  
  
we could even be like the older kids several floors below me and talk in low tones, speaking things we'd never   
  
tell our parents about.  
  
I decided love is another form of masochism. I rolled over, feeling that tightness in my chest again,  
  
relishing in the pain and simultaneously wishing it would stop. In my head, I could see her, brushing her hair  
  
out of her face, hugging Gatomon with a slightly pouty look on her face even though she had no reason to be pouting,  
  
glaring at Tai for whatever reason.  
  
"Davis..."  
  
I sat upright in shock. I could've sworn I'd just heard her voice...   
  
But I knew I was alone- the sleeping Veemon excluded- in my room. Kari wasn't there. Inside, I felt  
  
that searing pain of being utterly alone, and my eyes clouded over in tears I refused to shed.  
  
I turned off my radio, insulted by the painful reminders in the songs that I couldn't have her, and   
  
lay down on my bed again. My mind brought up every situation in the past that she'd said something cruel to   
  
me, every annoyed look, and then moved on to future unkindnesses that were the cruelest of them all. I imagined  
  
shocking her with my admitting to loving her, and imagined her turning me down. I thought of how much I wanted   
  
her and how much she hated me for it. I thought of how lucky TK was, and again had to struggle not to desperately   
  
want to hit him the next time I saw him. The pain and anger inside of me strained to get out and show itself, but   
  
knowing I couldn't win, I repressed it.   
  
Kari could do anything to me. Lead me on. Kiss me then slap me as hard as she wanted for letting her. I  
  
would fall to pieces inside, much like I was right then but worse, I would cry, I would scream for the pain and   
  
the wounds she'd scratched in my heart and soul, and she would get away with it and I would let her. No matter   
  
how much she can hurt me, I would always come back for more.   
  
Love is masochism. We destroy ourselves inside for it, allow wounds to grow and fester from it, but we continue  
  
going back for more. We thrive on it. Without it, we probably wouldn't exist.  
  
As long as there is a Kari, I will throw myself at her, let her run me through with those icy glares and   
  
those cold shoulders, those scathing words and sharp, annoyed expressions. There is nothing in this world that   
  
will turn me from her. I will die for her, if need be, if it will prove to her how much I care.   
  
I only hope that TK knows how truly special she is. I wish I could be him, for just one day, just long   
  
enough to feel her hand in mine once....  
  
All these thoughts filled my mind, as I fell into a dream where Kari was my beautiful princess, and   
  
I her knight, protecting her from all things evil. 


	2. I Would Give It All Up

I woke up the next morning with a crick in my neck from sleeping in a bad position. The thought  
  
"Would Kari notice?" Absently crossed my mind.   
  
I sat up with such force I knocked Veemon off the bed.  
  
"Whawuzzat for?" He complained groggily.  
  
"Dunno," I replied, regretting the move myself. Dizziness had me flat on my back on the bed again.   
  
I stared at the ceiling, with nothing on my mind but a happy face of a girl I give everything for.  
  
I made another attempt at sitting up again, and this time succeeded. I carefully stepped over Veemon  
  
(who'd fallen asleep where he'd landed on the floor) and went to take a quick shower before school and fix   
  
my hair.  
  
The hot water rushed over me, and I tried to imagine it purifying me of all negative energy. It   
  
worked for a little bit, until it got to the "Kari" part, which it carefully dodged. It was like a giant   
  
rock in a streambed, causing everything to move around it.  
  
I got out, dried off, and proceeded to spike my hair. You wouldn't think it requires that much   
  
maintenance, but it sorta depends on the morning. Plus, there's a very fine line between 'afro' and 'spike'  
  
known as 'hair gel'. If you don't apply this line, things get hazardous.  
  
Trust me.  
  
I rushed to my room to dress; If I move fast enough, I can avoid my family seeing me butt   
  
naked running through the house and I have a little more time for breakfast. I slammed the door ("don't   
  
slam the door...!" from groggy mom in the kitchen) and hurriedly grabbed some clothes. *I've REALLY got to   
  
do some laundry,* I thought, having to settle for some slightly... used pants instead of clean ones.   
  
"Veemon, get up! We gotta get breakfast!"  
  
At the word 'breakfast', the small beast was suddenly up and rushing ME out the bedroom door.   
  
"Let's go, let's go! We're gonna run late!"  
  
"Whatever. Come on."  
  
I poured myself a bowl of cereal, which I finished just as my toast popped out of the toaster.   
  
I quickly shoved that in my mouth and drained a glass of orange juice, and bolted for the front door.  
  
"Veemon!"  
  
"Comrmm!" The monster was still shoving food in his mouth.  
  
"Move it!"  
  
"All right!" In a moment, he was by my side, and loaded in my backpack.  
  
"Bai mom!"  
  
"Bye, sweetie! Be good!"  
  
"Yeah, yeah..."  
  
I practically flew down the stairs; for some reason, I was pumped that morning, and the elevator   
  
would be way too slow and confining.   
  
"Wahooo!" Veemon cried, waving his hands like he was on a roller coaster in my backpack.  
  
"Get in there, someone's gonna see you!"  
  
"No they won't! I'm too fast!"  
  
"Whatever..."  
  
I slid down the last banister, and hit the ground running to school.  
  
*Maybe if I get there soon enough I'll see Kari before class...*  
  
Something had possessed me that day. I couldn't explain it, but I was in a fantastic mood.   
  
Nothing could've gotten me down.  
  
I decided it was this mood I was going to talk to Kari in.  
  
School flew by me in a blur. I think I got yelled at six or more times that day just for grinning   
  
too much. But as soon as class was out I'd hunted Kari down. She was with Yolei, Cody, and (shock and  
  
surprise) TK in the computer lab, all digimon in tow, preparing to go to the DigiWorld. I was practically  
  
jumping to get through; while there, I could probably corner her and tell her what I was thinking...  
  
"Wow, something's gotten in to Davis..." I heard Cody muttering.  
  
"Probably a new form of hyperactivity taking over his mind, don't think anything of it," Yolei   
  
replied. I could practically hear her grinning.  
  
Once there, I practically dragged Kari away from the group.  
  
"Davis- what- IS- IT?!" She said, trying to resist. Whatever was giving me strength was powerful   
  
though, and (dare I say it...) resistance was futile.  
  
Once we were a safe distance from the group (well out of hearing range), I stopped.   
  
"Kari, I'm in love with you."  
  
She looked at me, surprise touching her features just a little. "I know... I didn't think you'd ever   
  
actually say it, but I know."  
  
"I know you know. I know you lead me on, I know you scorn me for it, I know you and TK are probably  
  
perfect for each other, I know... I don't know what else I know, but above all I know I'm in love with you   
  
and I had to tell you or I would go completely insane."  
  
The surprise had turned fairly to shock, now clearly written on her face and in her movements. "Uhm, I..."   
  
I calmed down a little. I took a deep breath, and said, "I know you think I'm crazy, and it's   
  
probably true-" I wondered if she realized what song I was quoting or if she was totally left in the   
  
dark -"But I'm at my happiest when I'm with you."  
  
"I know what song that is." There was little sting in what she said, even though she'd tried.  
  
  
"Good. Those lines said it better than anything I could think of." She looked like she was trying  
  
to come up with a fiery remark, but couldn't.  
  
"You have TK, and I'm glad he makes you happy. I won't try and stop that. Get annoyed, yes, but   
  
not stop it," I said, grinning. "But I can tell you, I would give it all up for you. I know there's a lot   
  
separating me from you. But please, at least don't shun me as a friend."  
  
"You wouldn't give everything up for me."  
  
I raised an eyebrow at her defiance. "What makes you think that?"  
  
"You wouldn't give up Veemon." I snorted.  
  
"I could try, but I think he wouldn't give me up."  
  
"You wouldn't give up the other DigiDestined."  
  
"And how would I prove I could do that?"  
  
My response to her challenge, I think, surprised her. "You would give up the DigiDestined and   
  
jeopardize its very existence to prove your love to me?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
She gave me a hard look. "You lie. And besides, you shouldn't be so loose about leaving the  
  
DigiDestined."   
  
I sighed in exasperation. "What does it take to prove this to you? I would give everything- my   
  
friends, stuff, my grades, my existence- for you! Only you, Kari! And no one else..."  
  
She gazed at me with eyes trying to understand. "You seriously would, wouldn't you?"  
  
"YES!!" *What's so difficult to understand about this?!* My mind screamed.  
  
She smiled at me, that precious smile, whispered "Thank you", and ran back to the others.  
  
It was over. I'd told her, given her my greatest secret that wasn't a secret. She had smiled at   
  
me, with that gorgeous face of hers, no ice or fire in her expression or words....  
  
I smiled, then grinned widely in a way that could aptly be described as Jackal at the sky, and began  
  
to laugh. It was freedom. I spread my arms wide, spun in circles 'til I was dizzy, and then fell to the   
  
ground on my back. It was bliss.   
  
She knew. She didn't mind so much any more, from the sound of it. We could all continue in our  
  
happy existences, I would be better accepted by her, and things would be better now...  
  
When we returned to our world, I went home, finished my homework, and went to bed, to untroubled   
  
dreams of happiness. 


End file.
